1 20 AM.

Six years ago, This was my first....


Its 1:20 am
I miss you
I remember you were beautiful
I wish you were near

Do you know what we’d do if u were here right now?

We’d bundle up really warm and go outside and sit beside the lake and watch the moon sink into the icy lake. I’d hold you close like I never have before and maybe this time you wouldn’t draw away because we are old friends now. I know the ups and downs of your mind and find it intriguing. You know the contours of mine and find it comfortable. We’d be old friends looking at an old moon drop against the backdrop of the lit up city. And I’d hold you close, and we’d talk about nothing and everything and it would be the most important conversation in the world because it was ours.

Then when you began to feel cold through your coverings I’d get up and dust off and give you a hand up and then we’d go to an all night coffee shop. There’d be people around us talking eating and dreaming. We’d go right in the center of life and warmth, and I’d have an espresso and you’d have a hot chocolate, and I’d tell you how good mine was and you’d say how good yours was, and we’d taste each others and maybe even prefer it to our own , but not say anything because we’d settle for less for ourselves but not for the other. And then you’d start to tell me about the little things in your life the marks the gossip the pretty defeats and victories. You’d tell me in that way you tell me things that makes me want to preserve you, right there and then in that moment for all time, so you’d never loose your innocence and your kindness and your glow. You’d be talking and sipping and waving your hands around and then I’d slide my hands onto yours when it paused for a second, and you’d pretend not to notice and you’d keep talking and then take your hand back to emphasize a point. I’d smile to myself because I know you so well and because I know you don’t come easy. But I’d be persistent and grab hold of your hand and pin it down, and we’d smile at each other as we recognized our game.

Then when the coffee and the hot chocolate were finished we’d walk across back to your apartment. We’d walk in silence; the world would be such a comfortable place at that moment that’s we’d both let our thoughts drift to unimportant things. We’d reach the apartment and it would feel like home to both of us, and we’d go up to your room and gently open the door so as not to wake your roommate. As we entered through the darkness you’d trip over the bag left on the floor and you’d grab hold of my arm for support and instinctively, I’d flex my muscle. Your giggle would burst through the darkness, and you’d start me chuckling and that would go on until we’d have to run into the drawing room and collapse on the couch laughing hysterically.
Then we’d be spent and we’d remember that there would be a few days like that, because now we are adults and our first priority would be the pursuit of money and success and not unconditional friendship. So I’d tell you some things beautifully worded and eloquently spoken. And you’d tell me some things clumsily and awkwardly. But you’d believe me less than I believed you , because you know me well. We’d make your bed on the couch because you wouldn’t want to wake up your roommate.

Before I went to my place, I’d come over to you and look at you for sometime, as if you were a picture. And I’d remember all the times I’d looked at your photo and wish you were beside me. I’d pull you to me and plant a soft kiss on your forehead. And maybe you’d let your lips touch mine just for a second longer than ever before. And then I would lay down with my head on my pillow and in your lap; you, with a smile on yours lips and in my heart.

I miss you
I wish you were here.